Warriors

So many memories. I have lived a thousand lives as a warrior. And during those lives, I have killed many people. Until one day, I awoke. I awoke to the senselessness and the madness. 

I remember it and during a healing at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, I remembered it in full. I was a Celtic warrior, or a Viking of sorts. By all means a big man with lots of meat on his bones and hair on his face. I was the leader of a group of warriors, a tribe of sorts. We had just won a fight against a competing tribe or clan.

It is already dark and all my men are inside, celebrating: drink, women, singing, the usual. I am looking over the battlefield. Younger boys, not yet men, are cleaning up. Putting the bodies and debris of our enemies in piles and setting them on fire. 

I have killed the leader of the competing clan. We had a good day, but I don’t feel good. I respected  this leader. He was a good man, living by the same principles as I am, treating his men in the same honorable way as I do. We were a lot alike. And now, he is dead. It is such a waste. I have an illumination and suddenly see clearly how useless it all is, this fighting that we do, the death and destruction it leads to. 
 

It is a true moment of awakening, a deep shift occurs inside. I don’t die this day, I live my life out quietly, in peace as far as possible, and die of old age. Or at least old age for those times. 

I do not incarnate as a warrior again. I try out being a woman, no more fighting. But there are power games and manipulation, suppression and abuse,  a different kind of fight.

I am in the in between, ready to be born again, together with my warrior soulmates. We have made pacts, through the ages, promises of loyalty and love that would endure even after death. And now we are in a hurry. Our planet needs us, it is almost too late, our human tribe needs to be saved and we go. I had to learn to stop hurrying, to give this shift its time.

Sometimes I meet them, these warrior soulmates. They want to fight with me, for me, next to me, these warriors that I came with. And I have somehow to awaken them to my awakening, all those centuries ago.

As I often have to remind myself, when the warrior in me gets triggered: Peace is going to be the only way this war will be won. We will need to use our power, our courage, our strength differently this time. 

We are out of enemies, it is just us.

Copyright 2015 Maartje Kreuzen